Happy Thanksgiving

We have so much to be thankful for this year, and every year! We are a family, complete and whole, with the addition of Lila and the removal of deployments. I will forever be grateful for every holiday we get to spend with Jay because of the ones we missed, and the friends I have that no longer get to spend those holidays with their spouse.

This year we had a nice, laid back holiday. I baked a cake and made stuffing to take to Gloria's for dinner and that was it! We slept in, hung out together, ate dinner in the afternoon and came back to relax. No running around, no crazy, no Black Friday plans. If I had my way, we'd do it like this every year!

Four-year well visit

Just after his birthday, we had Hayden's well visit scheduled with the pediatrician. As he tends to do, Hayden got sick right around the same time. I appreciate that he gets sick at the same time, only to avoid a 2nd copay. Way to help out, buddy.

This time it was ear infections in both ears. Poor kid! But he takes meds like a champ, and after one dose he was feeling better already. The doc checked out his hearing and vision, weight and height, listened to all his vital organs and even had a little tickle party. He's 42 3/4 inches (3 feet, 6 3/4 inches) and 42 lbs. So, square like his 40x40 at his three year visit. To me, he seems far taller and even heavier, especially if I'm carrying him to bed after he's fallen asleep in mine.

This time around we got the "kindergarten shots", the ones he can't go to Kindergarten without. Because of his age, he'll wait a year for kindergarten so he'll be five-turning-six when he starts. A year and a half away, but it goes by SO fast. I'm not ready! The shots did NOT go well, but luckily he won't need anymore until he's 11. Try telling that to your screaming, sad toddler. Not happy. But he got stickers and toys, bandaids and chocolate milk after we left, but he's still talking about it.

10 months old

What a sassy pants this little girl is! The day before she turned 10 months old, she took her first real steps. Look out world, she is on the move!

Did I mention she's no longer interested in sitting still?

Letter to Lila: Love

Dear Lila,

People give me a hard time about you. You're a few days shy of ten months old, and though you're ready (in your own mind) to conquer the world, you are still but an infant. You can't quite walk, you can't quite talk, and you have a lot to learn about personal space.

Lila, people give me a hard time because when you cry, I pick you up. Now, not every time. I can tell when you're just being sassy because you lay your head down on your hands on the floor, and then look up to see if I'm paying attention. You cry when I leave the room, when you can see me but I'm not holding you. "She's a momma's girl", they say; "you've spoiled that baby", they admonish. This "they" includes friends and family, even your own father.

I say to that, they can kiss it, Lila. There will come a time in the not-so-distant future when you will have no time to be held because you're too busy doing other things. You will one day make the switch from my baby to a daddy's girl, and wrap him around your little finger. You'll grow too big for my arms to hold (without your legs dangling to my ankles) and then I won't get to pick you up anymore.

But you know what? In your almost-ten-months, I've never once put you to bed and worried, "Did I hug her enough today? Did she get enough kisses? Does she know how much I love her?" Not one time have I worried that you didn't get enough affection from me that day. In our family, we show our love with affection. We hug, we snuggle, we give kisses and we hold each other in our laps. We sit two-to-a-seat when there is room to have our own. We say it. We say "I love you", "I'm proud of you", "You are special". Your dad loves in the same way, but he also values independence. He wants you to be tough and strong and to stand on your own. And that's a great balance in our house, because without him, I'd never want you guys to do anything on your own. This world is a big scary place and in time, you'll learn for yourself that life can be full of sadness, disappointment and hate. But for right now, all you know is love. When I lay you down in your bed each night, after our hugs and kisses, I give you your bink, your pink pup-pup and I always whisper, "You're safe". You don't know what that means yet. But it's my way of saying that you are in a warm, safe place with a full belly, surrounded by love, and you can sleep peacefully. It may not reassure your heart, but it does mine.

So I will keep holding you when I don't have to. I will give you as many kisses as your face will hold. I will hug and snuggle you for as many hours as you are awake, but respect your need to be in bed before 7 (thanks for that, by the way). I will tell you "I love you" 100 times plus one every day. I did the same thing with your brother, and in my opinion he's grown up to be a very loving, affectionate, independent and secure little boy. So let them say you're spoiled, because you may be able to spoil a child with money and with "things", but you can never spoil a child with love. A baby can never, ever be loved too much, despite a mother's best efforts to do so.

Hayden's birthday party

What a great set of events we had to celebrate this little guy's birthday! On his actual birthday, we took cupcakes and juice to school so his class could celebrate his birthday. They had a sign on the door for him and he was super excited about it! When he got home, he and dad went to Target to pick out a special toy, and then onto the Coliseum for Disney on Ice. It was a great line-up: Cars, Toy Story, Little Mermaid and the fairies. Jay sent me a few pics from the event, and Hayden brought home popcorn and a fun light-up toy!

On Friday some of our dearest friends from the Army came to stay with us for the weekend. Addie was Hayden's first girlfriend (at under year old) and this was the third birthday she was here for. We caught up with them for a few minutes before heading to Monkey Joe's to party!

Hayden was really excited to have his birthday at a "bouncy place". When we got there we dropped the presents and cake off in the room and headed out to play. He was happy to see his cousins, other family, school friends and my friends there to help him celebrate!

He was super excited for cake and presents, and when Monkey Joe himself came in to wish him a happy birthday and bring his "first present". He still reminds me that Monkey Joe gave him the first present, before he opened any others. So cute! After lots of jumping and games and cake, we headed back home with the King girls in tow!

Once we settled in, we had pajamas and pizza and movies and were ready for a sleepover! The kids played, the moms talked and we all went to bed exhausted but happy! Our friends left the next afternoon and we were sad to see them go, but glad they made it out to see us!

I hope Hayden remembers this birthday as one of the best ever!

Happy birthday Hayden!

I find it extremely hard to believe that my sweet boy is four years old. Everyone tells you how time flies when your kids are young, but you never really believe it until you have them. Here's to more years of dirt, noise, sports, bruises, questions, funnies and the biggest hugs you'll ever receive. Happy birthday, my sweet lovable boy!

Great Wolf Lodge

I had a conference to go to at the Great Wolf Lodge, so Jay and the kids came along on Sunday before it got started to enjoy the water park! Hayden was excited the WHOLE way there, and could barely contain himself when we pulled up. By the time we got down to the waterpark, it was just too much for him. I thought he was going to burst!

Lila was so super cute in her little bathing suit! She had outgrown hers for the summer so I got one SUPER cheap on clearance from Carter's. While Jay and Hayden did water slides and the wave pool, she was content to sit in knee deep water, walk a little and be held. The water wasn't as warm as I expected, so I had to take her out about every half hour to warm her up...those little lips got blue!

After a few hours of water sliding and fun, Jay and the kids headed home and I went to bed to get ready for my conference. On Monday night, we headed out to dinner with colleagues, former colleages, one Salem girl who works in financial aid at another school, and one Salem friend from the area. It was a great night! We went to Tsunami, which is the place Jay and I ate on our wedding night in Charleston, SC. We had drinks and hibachi, and I had some great sushi.

Tuesday night we rented out the water park for our conference and I got to go down the water slides. Crazy! We had cupcakes and drinks and rode the slides a few times before heading off to bed. I had a great time and enjoyed not getting up at 530 for a few days, but I sure did miss my family!

Election Day

This is my fourth Presidential election as an of-age, registered voter. The first three times I voted absentee; twice from Winston-Salem, once from Germany. This year I voted early. There's something so thrilling about walking up to a polling place, getting your sticker and tapping on that electronic machine. It's life-changing, for both the candidates and their constituents. It's also maddening the way that people descend upon you like vultures to decaying meat in order to give you one last push in their direction. So is the American way I suppose.

I'm grateful that I've never lived in a world where my country restricted the right to vote based on ethincity or gender. I was born into the first term of Ronald Reagan's presidency, and have no recollection of his second. But I very vividly remember the 1988 election of George H. W. Bush over Michael Dukakis because we talked about it so much in elementary school. I remember writing an essay about the new President Bill Clinton in 1992, because I was in an "academically gifted" program and we went to a different school a few days a month to be taught "smart stuff". I remember that essay because I wrote "Let's give him a chance, after all, we've seen what the Republicans have done to us", and my teacher Mrs. Smouse commented, "Yes, I have!". And how crazy Ross Perot seemed. I have ZERO recollection of the 1996 election, I guess I was in that transition from middle to high school and Bob Dole was SO bizarre. The 2000 election was a huge deal, because it was my first year in college and I was old enough to vote *finally*. Who could forget the "hanging Chads", Bush winning the electoral vote despite not winning the popular vote, and all the drama that ensued? I remember taking a Salem bus to the LJVM to watch the televised debate from WFU. In 2004 I was living in Winston but hadn't changed my voter registration, so I voted absentee again when Bush defeated Kerry.

I remember getting our absentee ballots in Germany in 2008 and realizing how important this election was. I was married to a soldier, living overseas, and knew my whole life could change based on that vote. This year, I feel far less connected to the Presidential race because I'm here, living in North Carolina and can SEE what a difference my local and state votes can make. I hope that everyone votes, because they appreciate that right to vote, not because everyone on Facebook and News 2 tells them to. I hope they vote for the candidates they think can make a difference, not the ones that are most like them. I hope my friends don't turn into people I don't recognize tomorrow, when this is all (hopefully) over. And in 2016, I can't wait to take my kids to the polls with me and talk to them about how important this right is, how everyone didn't always have it, and how men like their great grandfather and their father fought to protect it.

Today, vote. But mostly, be grateful that you were born into a country with that right to vote, that you haven't fought a war over it and the Constitution allowed you to vote by virtue of your citizenship. In this country, it is your true birthright.

Give back

Don't forget about our charity effort! NCASFAA has chosen Wounded Warrior Project as our fall charity, and every dollar makes a difference!

https://support.woundedwarriorproject.org/individual-fundraising/ncasfaa

Letter to Lila

I write Hayden a letter every year on his birthday. I haven't decided if I'm doing the same for Lila, or something different, but this was on my heart the other night so I wrote her a letter.

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Dear Lila,

Inevitably, there will come a day when someone asks you why you're a Redskins fan. You'll give them the same answer I have for 30 years, "I was born into it". In this family, you get some choices, but one of them is not whether to be a Redskins fan. They lose, they win, they find a way to lose despite winning...it's a heartbreaking thing, to be a Skins fan. But we do it anyway.

Someday, someone is going to ask you why you're a Phillies fan. This answer is a little different. You see, I was born a Braves fan. Then in the 90s, MLB kept going on strike and I got fed up with the institution of professional baseball. And for a really long time, that's where the story ended.

Fast forward to the 2000s, when your mom is a freshman in college. I had the fortune to meet three of the greatest people I'll ever know while visiting the city of brotherly love for the very first time. This friendship quickly developed over a mutual love of accents and amazing storytelling. On one visit, my friend Megan decided I needed some true Philly gear, and got me a Ryan Howard Phillies shirt. Whenever I wore it at home, people always had something to say, one way or the other. In college, you meet people from lots of different places, so sometimes they thought they'd found a fellow Philadelphian; other times, they wanted to talk a little trash. Either way, I quickly learned that I'd have to pay attention to baseball again, or just not wear the shirt. And it was a cute shirt. And when you look good in red, you own it.

As luck should have it, I was wearing that shirt in 2006 in Germany, when someone approached me and asked if I was from Philly. She instantly knew that was not the case when she heard me talk, but that very same shirt led me to meet two more of the greatest people I'd ever met. Jaime introduced herself, and we found we had a lot in common- we had dogs, not kids; we loved to travel; we had the best intentions to scrapbook said travel, but were always at least a year behind. Jaime's husband, Dave, was your dad's commander and would be his commander in Afghanistan in 2007.

Jaime and I quickly formed a friendship based on love of food, wine, travel and all-things-northern-or-southern. We formed a team of leadership in our family readiness group (FRG) to help get the families of Anvil troop through a long, grueling deployment that would last 15 months for some. But that deployment has never ended for Jaime, because Dave was killed in action on 12 November 2007.

Lila, there aren't really words to describe the days and months that followed 12 November 2007, but to say a big piece of my heart was broken and never really got fixed is an understatement. You may only get one or two chances your whole life to see what someone is truly made of, and I saw that in the days and weeks that followed, and still see it today. Someone I knew as a friend turned out to be one of the strongest people I've ever met, with absolutely unmatched grace and courage. Any one of us would have understood if Jaime just fell to pieces and never really came back from it; Lila, we would have. Instead, she keeps his memory alive by living a life that would make him proud; by raising money and advocating for other widows and Gold Star families; and by being a great friend.

When Jaime found out I was having you, a baby girl, she sent you your very own Phillies onesies. As it turns out, you look good in pink AND in red. So you see Lila, I wasn't born into being a Phillies fan; you were. Because some of the greatest people we know are Phillies fans, and because that Ryan Howard Phillies shirt has changed my whole life. I don't know that it's the reason I met Jaime, and we became friends, but I know that it's the most clear memory of HOW I met Jaime.

This year, my friend Megan who gave me the shirt had a baby boy named Ben. You'll meet him soon I hope, and when you're older you'll think he talks a little funny and he'll think you're weird because you call it "the beach" and not "the shore". But I hope you're friends a lifetime.

At no point in your life will anyone ever question your decision to be a Carolina Tarheels fan. If they do, they're not the kind of friend you'll want to keep.

Happy Halloween...from work!

We were encouraged to dress up for Halloween at work, but most of my old costumes are appropriate for neither a 30-year-old mother of two, nor the work place. So I grabbed a striped shirt, some short pants and a few of Hayden's favorite props and voila! Costume!

Some of my co-workers also opted for striped shirts, for very different costumes. But what a fun bunch we are!

I still miss our Anvil & Friends Halloween parties in Germany, maybe next year we'll get our reunion...