Dear Lila,
People give me a hard time about you. You're a few days shy of ten months old, and though you're ready (in your own mind) to conquer the world, you are still but an infant. You can't quite walk, you can't quite talk, and you have a lot to learn about personal space.
Lila, people give me a hard time because when you cry, I pick you up. Now, not every time. I can tell when you're just being sassy because you lay your head down on your hands on the floor, and then look up to see if I'm paying attention. You cry when I leave the room, when you can see me but I'm not holding you. "She's a momma's girl", they say; "you've spoiled that baby", they admonish. This "they" includes friends and family, even your own father.
I say to that, they can kiss it, Lila. There will come a time in the not-so-distant future when you will have no time to be held because you're too busy doing other things. You will one day make the switch from my baby to a daddy's girl, and wrap him around your little finger. You'll grow too big for my arms to hold (without your legs dangling to my ankles) and then I won't get to pick you up anymore.
But you know what? In your almost-ten-months, I've never once put you to bed and worried, "Did I hug her enough today? Did she get enough kisses? Does she know how much I love her?" Not one time have I worried that you didn't get enough affection from me that day. In our family, we show our love with affection. We hug, we snuggle, we give kisses and we hold each other in our laps. We sit two-to-a-seat when there is room to have our own. We say it. We say "I love you", "I'm proud of you", "You are special". Your dad loves in the same way, but he also values independence. He wants you to be tough and strong and to stand on your own. And that's a great balance in our house, because without him, I'd never want you guys to do anything on your own. This world is a big scary place and in time, you'll learn for yourself that life can be full of sadness, disappointment and hate. But for right now, all you know is love. When I lay you down in your bed each night, after our hugs and kisses, I give you your bink, your pink pup-pup and I always whisper, "You're safe". You don't know what that means yet. But it's my way of saying that you are in a warm, safe place with a full belly, surrounded by love, and you can sleep peacefully. It may not reassure your heart, but it does mine.
So I will keep holding you when I don't have to. I will give you as many kisses as your face will hold. I will hug and snuggle you for as many hours as you are awake, but respect your need to be in bed before 7 (thanks for that, by the way). I will tell you "I love you" 100 times plus one every day. I did the same thing with your brother, and in my opinion he's grown up to be a very loving, affectionate, independent and secure little boy. So let them say you're spoiled, because you may be able to spoil a child with money and with "things", but you can never spoil a child with love. A baby can never, ever be loved too much, despite a mother's best efforts to do so.
