It's still so hard for me to believe I gave birth. But here's how it all happened, with some details left out in good taste and for the squeamish.Saturday morning around 11:30 Jay and I were walking around the PX, running some errands. I noticed some slight cramping in my belly, and assumed we were dealing with Braxton Hicks contractions. I mean, I can't be in labor, that's silly. We walked around some more and I was getting increasingly uncomfortable, so we headed home. Jay had a ruck march planned with some of his soldiers, so he headed out but not before I made sure he had his phone. I told him I was a little nervous, and just wanted to be on the safe side. He assured me I'd be fine, but to call him if I needed anything. He was pretty sure I wasn't in labor, just had gas. He blames the egg salad.
I spent the next two hours laying around, eating a little, and trying to pay attention to the clock to see if there was any regularity to these contractions. None whatsoever. When Jay got home I was still uncomfortable, but didn't see any need to go to the hospital. By 5pm, I told him I thought we might go to the hospital at some point this evening, just to check things out. I'd rather be sent home than give birth in my living room, after all. By 7pm I was in more pain, and laying down was about the only option to be somewhat comfortable. Jay came upstairs and finished packing mine and Hayden's bags, and we finally left for the hospital around 8:45pm.
We checked in to the maternity ward around 9pm, and hung out in the waiting room for about 15 minutes. At this point, I was bent over an ottoman because my back hurt so much with each contraction. Jay was rubbing my back and I was certain this had to be labor; if not, I told Jay, HE was having this baby. The midwife came to get us and took us down the hall. She hooked me up to a fetal heart rate monitor that also measured my contractions. She checked my cervix, and to my surprise, I was dilated to 7cm. Basically almost there! I think it was then that Jay and I fully realized this was happening tonight. The midwife also told us she could feel lots of hair.
This is also when we realized my internal debate over the epidural had been solved for me, as I was dilated too far to have one. They gave me a little something in my IV to "take the edge off" which made me sleepy more than anything. Turns out another doctor was already there, so it wasn't technically necessary for my doc to be there, unless this labor progressed past midnight when he would be "on call" again. Since my water hadn't broken, the midwife did it for me. My friends have all talked about this hook-like contraption that was used to break their water, so I was pretty terrified. Apparently they do things differently here, because she did it by hand, which was literally quick and painless. The contractions started coming closer together, and I was definitely experiencing what is known as "back labor". This means Hayden's head was pushing on my spine during contractions because of his position. This also meant we had to try to shift him around a little for delivery. She had me basically get up on all fours on the delivery table, which was probably one of the worst parts of my delivery. I got extremely nauseous, and thought I might vomit, which is pretty miserable when you're in labor. Luckily I didn't stay that way for long.
It wasn't too long before they told me it was time to push. I think my midwife thought I wasn't trying hard enough, but the tiny busted blood vessels on my face after delivery say otherwise. After about 15 minutes of pushing, the doctor told us he was worried about the baby's heart rate. It was plummeting during my contractions and he said there was a possibility the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. Pretty scary! He said we'd try a little bit longer, and would use a tiny vacuum to help the baby out. He was so close, but just not wanting to come out. Two more pushes, and they told me to stop pushing, and to look at my baby. He was out! A messy little thing with tons of hair, but he was beautiful :-)
They handed Jay the scissors to cut the cord, and we heard a strong little cry come out of our baby and knew he was fine. They cut the cord, gave me a shot to induce a quick contraction for delivery of the placenta, and we were DONE. During my pregnancy, I had joked to my friends that I didn't want to hold my baby until he was all clean and pretty. But when they handed him to me still covered in, well, everything, I could not have been happier. At that moment I knew I was holding the most beautiful baby in the world, dirty hair and all. They let me hold him awhile before we got all cleaned up and worked on nursing. They gave him a little bath, weighed and measured, took some pictures, dressed him and handed him over to the happiest parents in Germany. That's when Jay looked at the clock and realized it was after midnight. So he had to ask "Was it today or yesterday?"; Hayden was born on November 15th just in the nick of time, at 11:59 pm.
In Germany, they take a much different approach to birth. It seems that they favor natural deliveries unless c-sections become medically necessary, they do not favor the epidural, and they adhere to the policy of skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible instead of handing you a more aesthetically pleasing version of your baby. They wholeheartedly endorse nursing, rooming-in and overall a more natural approach to birth. Turns out it was pretty much exactly how I wanted to have Hayden.
While the nurse was cleaning him up, she did say she thinks my due date was wrong. Had he been really two weeks early, she told us, he should have been more covered in vernix, and smaller. Later when she escorted me to the restroom and saw me standing up straight for the first time she said (in broken English), "Ah, now I see this was very big baby for you". Forgiven, for thinking I wasn't working hard enough. We hung out with our 8 lb, 9 oz and 20-inch long baby in the delivery room for a little over an hour until I was moved to my private room. We requested a private room with a bed so Jay could stay, which is not standard procedure but certainly possible in Germany. Hayden was right next to me in his little plexiglass crib, and would stay there unless I requested otherwise.
So that my friends is the story of Hayden, the little (big) baby that could (and would), and of his proud parents. I have to say that I didn't think it was going to happen for awhile, and it never would have without the amazing support of my wonderful husband who, as it turns out, is a pretty awesome dad too.
When I have more time, a little more about our hospital stay and what life is like at home with Hayden!
