Sometimes, I forget

It's true. There are moments when I have to stop and think, "Am I really pregnant?" There are things I subconsciously do, like eating and drinking things that are better, avoiding accidents and cigarette smoke, watching my step because I'm naturally clumsy. I think because it's SO early and I'm not having morning sickness, cravings or aversions, and clearly I'm not showing yet.

I ran into my doctor today at McDonald's, of all places. I'm glad he caught me eating a chicken sandwich with a salad and water, instead of my old standby (nuggets, fries, Cola light). He recognized me, and I was surprised. I mean, he has a lot of patients and I've only been there once.

I think it's still settling in. A baby?? Wow. Amazing.

A little reflection

Sometimes when I think about Jay not being here it makes me sad. Mainly I'm sad not because I'm going through this "alone", but that HE'S going through it alone. That while I go to an appointment by myself, at least I can see and ask questions and experience. He has to wait until he can call me to find out how things went, and see the first sonogram in an email instead of right there on the screen. I think remembering that perspective helps me not be disgruntled with the Army or frustrated, because I feel like it has to be harder on him than it is on me right now. In the Army, there's no perfect pregnancy, without a deployment or the field to make them miss all kinds of moments. I'm grateful that he won't be deployed when our baby is born, but I hate that he has to miss any of it.