Christmas thoughts

As we woke up (remarkably late for my kids, 830) to the joys of Christmas and Santa and stockings and gifts, I had a whole jumble of thoughts running around my head.

I thought of the families in Newtown, CT. I can't imagine what today is like for them. Then again, I guess every day for them is now a Groundhog Day-ish nightmare of wondering "What would she look like today?" or "What would he ask Santa for next year?" But I can't imagine even getting out of bed or acknowledging Christmas if I were one of them today. And many of them have to put on that brave face for the children that are still here.

I thought of the Christmases past that I spent without Jay. Does there ever come a day when you stop remembering those holidays they missed? I was so grateful to wake up and have him in the same house, to share the memories with. To have someone to put batteries in one toy while I put together another. To have him here for Christmas eve, and Christmas pajamas and "Twas the Night Before Christmas". I thought of my friends, who are missing their deployed spouses today. And the men and women who are making good on the blank check they wrote to the US Armed Forces, and are protecting our freedom to worship and celebrate as we please.

Then I thought about my friends that have adopted children this year. Can there be a greater gift than to give a child a forever family, and a first Christmas? And the joy on the faces of the parents of Ben, Blake, Jade, Turner, Tabor, Natalie, Ella Kate, Lincoln, Mary Connelly, Kizzy, William, Everett, Peter and Liam as they watched their babies experience their first Christmas. I thought about the anticipation Sam and Watts must be feeling as they look to next year, with new babies to celebrate.

We have been back from Germany for over two years. We've moved, bought a house, started jobs, started schools, welcomed a new baby and a new dog. We've had many beautiful memories. But today, stirring sausage gravy and checking on biscuits in the oven, listening to the kids play with Lila's new table...I felt truly at home for the first time. There's a peace that comes from knowing you're exactly where you're supposed to be, and that everything is complete.

Geez. That's a lot to take in before your first cup of coffee.