Christmas

Christmas has come and gone. I wish I could say I was in the spirit this year but it just didn't happen. I went through the motions, putting up a tree and picking out pajamas. I really did want my sweet babies to have a magical day and I think they did. But I'm in a funk and need to snap out of it. I've made a short list of things I need to do to make next year better and sometimes that's all you can do. My mom got us zoo passes and water park passes so I'm excited for a summer of fun. Today the sun is shining and my kids are silly. My house is warm, our bellies are full and we are loved. You can't ask for much more than that. 

Hayden is 5!

I'm not sure where the time went. My sweet boy is five. He has turned into such a sweet and caring boy. He is the best helper and big brother and so so smart. He picks up on things almost instantly and never misses a thing. He is an actual sponge. 

We got him a new big boy bike since we were enjoying 60 degree weather in November! He picked it out himself and went for an Army bike with a dinosaur helmet. Classic. Still have the training wheels but maybe this spring when it gets a little more street time we will be able to take them off. 

His birthday fell on a Friday so he had a cake for his friends at school. He requested Ironman so that's what he got! For his special dinner he picked the "chips and sauce place", La Fiesta. He ate all his dinner and was so excited when they brought his birthday ice cream and a sombrero to sing to him. He came home to open a couple of presents, new big boy shoes with laces and his Snake Eyes mask. Happy kid!

On Sunday we had friends over for cake and ice cream and presents. After we partied hard, Hayden opened every present but had to "find the note" and read it first. Cake and singing and then we packed up and headed to Safari Nation! The kids loved playing and jumping and bouncing. It was a great weekend of celebration for my big guy! 

Ninja

Hayden got mad at me last weekend because his Ninjago alarm went off at 530 am so I turned it off. And I pulled the blinds down so he wouldn't get up with the sun. He said, "great mom. Now he can't see." I said, who? He said,"Duh my ninja. How's he sposed to tect us if he can't see the bad guys out the window?"

Yeah. I love this kid. 

November 11

Until 2007, Veterans Day was November 11th and vice versa. Now it's the night before everything changed. Before my whole life shifted. Fear, pain, anger, loss. The unknown. Uncharted territory. Unimaginable sorrow. Pain unlike anything I'd ever known. Absolute anguish.

And he wasn't even my husband. But it changed my whole life. How I viewed the world. How I felt about the Army. How I worried. What I worried about. Tonight my heart will lay in the pieces it shattered into November 12, 2007. We remember every day. 

Happy birthday Ryan!

Yesterday we went to my brother's house to celebrate Ryan's ninth birthday. I can't believe my oldest nephew is nine years old! I remember him as a fun, spunky baby boy with big eyes, round cheeks and red hair. He was a drooly, loving little guy and now he's well on his way to being taller than me. Now he can read big words and play football and build awesome stuff out of Legos. Happy birthday big guy. 

Dunkin Donuts

I just stopped at a Wilco in Stokes County that had a small Dunkin Donuts kiosk. My dad only ate Boston Creme doughnuts and of course, it was one of the selections. I love you dad, but the Apple fritter is still my fave. 

Friday

So it was a tough day. I had myself convinced that I'd already processed it all. Ha! Typical Jessica. Tears, family, laughs, memories and one playlist I think he would have been proud of. 

The Band- The Weight

Bob Dylan- Let Me Die in My Footsteps

Bob Dylan- Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts

The Beatles- Yesterday

The Beatles- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band 

Old Crow Medicine Show- Wagon Wheel 

Allman Brothers Band- Jessica 

The Beatles- Let it Be

Eric Clapton- Tears in Heaven