Love

That smile. That shy, almost embarrassed smile when he looks up and realized I changed it to one of his shows because dad went to bed and mom is reading. That smile is why I became a mom. 

Coincidentally, that same smile is why I fell in love with his dad in the first place. 

Typical

Last night Hayden won the award for most amazing child with this:

"Mom. I'm sorry to interrupt you. But I figured out what I want for my snack."

Beautiful, right? Mr. Manners. 

Today he followed up with his in the car:

"Can we get to the program here?" 

Aaaaand he's back to just being five. 

Thoughts

Hayden, on Easter: "I think Jesus became invisible. That's how he went up to heaven when they moved that stone." 

Ninja

Hayden got mad at me last weekend because his Ninjago alarm went off at 530 am so I turned it off. And I pulled the blinds down so he wouldn't get up with the sun. He said, "great mom. Now he can't see." I said, who? He said,"Duh my ninja. How's he sposed to tect us if he can't see the bad guys out the window?"

Yeah. I love this kid. 

Tooth fairy

Hayden lost a tooth last month. Bottom left front to be exact. He went to bed very excited about the idea of the tooth fairy. When he woke up he found $5 under his pillow. I put it in front of his bank so he could see it. The next day, his money wasn't there.

Me: Hayden where is your tooth fairy money?

H: I had to hide it. 

Me: from who?

H: From the leprechauns when they come for Packricks Day. 

Me: You know St. Patricks day is a long time away dude. And the leprechauns don't like dollars; they like gold. That's why the tooth fairy doesn't leave gold. 

(Pause)

H: They don't want my dollars?

Me: Nope. 

H: Okay. We should go find them then. 

Realize

Me: Hayden, out of the tub dude. 

H: mom, do you even realize I'm getting out?

Pause

H: What does realize mean mom?

Maybe my favorite...

The other day, Hayden was looking at a picture of Lila when she was just born.

Hayden: What's that?
Me: Well that's blood.
Hayden: From where the doctor had to cut Lila out your belly?
Me: Yes, sometimes there's a little blood.
Hayden: Where the doctors cut you?
Me: Yes.
Hayden:  (very seriously) And then you died?

*pause*

Me: No baby, I didn't die. The doctors use special stuff to get Lila out and special medicine and then they stitched me up and I was fine.
Hayden: Oh, okay.

I WISH you could have seen his face and heard how serious he was.

Dressed for success

I love to buy my kids seasonal and holiday gear. So while at Old Navy the other day, I picked up a St. Patrick's Day shirt for Hayden. It's green (naturally) and has a green tie with clovers screened on it. I think it's adorable. I showed it to Hayden last night....

Me: Here's your shirt for St. Patrick's day.
Hayden: It's a tie?
Me: Yes.
Hayden: And we wear this for dancing?

I love that kid.

I knew you were trouble...

Hayden's new favorite song is "I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift. This replaces his old favorites, Guns 'N Roses' version of "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" and "Rumor Has It" by Adele (which Hayden sings, "Boomer has it!"). He loves it, so I bought the album so he can listen to it in the car on the way to school in the mornings (when he is most cranky). (Yes, I still buy albums. I didn't download it, I purchased a CD in a real case).

Getting ready for school this morning, he was having a hard time listening. Fighting me every step of the way, everything was the end of the world. Finally, I said "Hayden, please don't get in trouble before 7am. It will be a long day." He looked up at me, deadpan, and said, "Trouble, trouble, trouble!"

Needless to say, our days both went a little better after that.

Vocabulary

Hayden loves to learn new words. So when we bought Lila maracas for her birthday, he tried and tried until he finally got it right.

Last night I was throwing away chinese food boxes when Hayden got curious...

H: What's that building?
Mom: A pagoda
H: A pagoda?
Mom: Yes, very good Hayden.
H: And who lives there, the master and his ninjas?
Mom: Well sure Hayden. They have them in Japan.
H: Can we go there sometime to see a pagoda?
Mom: We sure can. You mom has been to Japan and seen a pagoda.
H: (eyes wide) When you were a ninja master?
Mom: Haha no Hayden just when I was younger.
H: (very seriously) That's the tallest building I ever saw.

I love his associations!

Probably inappropriate

But who cares, right?

On the way back from a party in Charlotte, we were less than 2 miles from home and this:

Hayden: Mommy I have to pee! It's starting to come out!
Me: Hayden can you hold it? We are almost home and there's no bathroom on the way.
Hayden: I can't, the seatbelt is in my way.
Me: You don't have to hold with your hands, just squeeze your booty and everything else down there really tight.

*short pause*

Hayden: Okay mommy, my butt is SO big the pee-pees won't come out!

I love this kid.

A tough lesson

While we were at the fair last weekend, Hayden was DYING to play the game to win a fish. So we obliged, paying $5 for  bucket of ping pong balls that he threw aimlessly at glass bowls filled with dirty, colored water. About halfway through the bucket, he hit a bowl! Which means he won a fish. We are not huge fans of fish-as-pets, but we couldn't deny him his prize!

Immediately, he set out to pick a name. "Hayden", "Mommy" and "Ironman" were ruled out before settling on Nemo. Within five minutes, he had asked, "Can Nemo ride the roller coaster with me?", "Can Nemo take a bath with me?", "Do we eat Nemo since he is a fish?" We reminded him to be careful carrying the bag with the fish, since he insisted upon carrying it himself.

He fell asleep on the way home so we took him up to bed for a nap. While he was sleeping, we transferred the fish to a bowl. Well. We tried. And by we, I mean I made a HUGE mistake and Jay came to the rescue (as usual). He told me to poke a hole in the bag to let the water drain, then then put the fish in the bowl. Well. I cut a hole in the bottom, and the fish promptly fell in the sink. And then down the garbage disposal. I yelled for Jay to come in there, who MacGyvered two spoons to rescue Nemo from the bowels of our drain. Gross. We put the little guy in his bowl, and my blood pressure slowly went down.

An hour later, I came into the kitchen only to find poor Nemo floating atop the bowl. Clearly the events of the day had traumatized him to the point of death. It was 8:45 and I couldn't bear the thought of Hayden waking up to a dead fish. I threw on some shoes and flew out the door to get to Petsmart before they closed at 9.

I picked up a more suitable fish bowl (than my short, round vase), some rocks, some food and asked the lady for a fish. At this point, I would like to point out that NO ONE mentioned adding water conditioner to combat the chlorine in tap water, which I later learned might be helpful in keeping fish alive. This is why I have dogs. I paid for Nemo #2 and got home to get him settled in his new bowl. After he was comfortably swimming, I went upstairs to bed.

Hayden woke up around 10:30 wanting a snack so we went downstairs for some cereal and a little Batman. Hayden suddenly remembered Nemo, and asked, "Where's my fish?" I told him in the kitchen, and he went in to see him. He came back in the living room and said, "Mommy, my fish has died." I couldn't believe it! He barely lived an hour!! Then he broke my heart with a quivering lip, asking, "Is it because I dropped him in his bag?" and burst into tears. I assured him this was not his fault, and we talked about fish heaven. He seemed to be okay with it, and went to sleep.

The next morning, he came downstairs and said, "My fish is still dead. I think he just needs more food". I explained fish heaven again, at which point he wanted to know how many fish were in fish heaven with him. I told him it was probably a whole lot, and that Nemo was happy. A minute later, he called me into the dining room. He was laying on his side with his eyes wide open and said, "Look! I look like my fish." I took his humor as a sign that he had progressed to the acceptance stage of grief (and proof that he's my child). We gave Nemo a proper burial in the toilet, because "all drains lead to the ocean like in Finding Nemo".

So Nemo died (twice) and Hayden doesn't seem to be too upset about it. We might get him a betta fish, or we might just stick with the two dogs that we can pet, love on, give treats to and toss the ball for. A tough lesson for a three year old, indeed.

My funny boy

He loves to wear mommy's shoes. At least he has good taste!

He still loves to help mommy cook! Last weekend we made waffles and he ran upstairs to find his pig whisk. You might remember this from last summer, the toy he picked out at Bed Bath & Beyond and slept with for at least a month. Now he's combined it with his love of cooking and voila! Perfect little helper.

Did I mention how much he loves his baby sister? Thursday morning he ran into my room at 530 to wake me up saying, "Mommy! Lila's crying!" So I got her up, changed and fed her. While I was feeding her he said, "Mommy, why you not come get her when she was crying? Why I have to wake you up?" I'm not sure, but I think he was calling me a bad mom. I told him I didn't hear her and he seemed okay with that. But he's quick to let me know when she needs something!

Poor Papaw

Hayden, upon seeing his Papaw had a "boo-boo" on his leg:

Ok Papaw. I get this for you. But I need a knife and it will hurt. You look this way.

No doubt his little mind is remembering the Splinter Incident from a few weeks ago. The tweezers just didn't cut it.

Silly boy

Last week I was on the phone with Jay when I heard Hayden in the background.

Hayden: Daddy, why aren't you 'sweep?
Jay: Because I'm awake. 
Hayden: Nooooooo, no daddy. You need be 'sweep. If mommy comes home, she gon' spank your butts!

Apparently Hayden prefers daddy to sleep in! Whenever he wants to Jay to be awake, he runs to his bed and says, "Daddy! Wake up! Wake up, it's springtime!!"

Logic

Oh the mind of a three-year-old. Last week I told Hayden, "Today is Oscar's birthday!" Hayden pondered this for a minute and then said, "But he doesn't talk." Somehow, in his head those two facts were in direct conflict with one another.

There's a reason you can't have a favorite child

My kids are awesome. After 9 weeks of being a mom of two, that still sounds weird. KidS. Plural. More than one. Two to make me proud, drive me crazy and take care of me in old age. Lately, I've had some really fun interactions with Hayden.

Yesterday in the car, he was telling me a story. I was trying to follow but got hung up on one part so I tried to whisper to Jay, "What does he mean, the bad guy bit his shirt?". Well. Nothing gets by Hayden. So he piped up from the back, "HEY. I talking to you." I apologized and he told me, "Don't do 'at again." Little dictator.

Sunday he was enjoying a little time-out in his room for not listening, when Jay suggested that he could be bribed with ice cream (he as in Jay) and we heard the ice cream man. Unfortunately I wasn't fast enough, and we missed him. We took a walk around the neighborhood trying to flag him down but it was to no avail. Hayden kept saying, "He left us. Ice cream man left us," and then the killer, "I SO sad." You can believe there was a field trip for ice cream later that day for my disappointed little boy.

Sleep walker

Last week, Jay woke me up when he got home at 2:30am.

Jay: Get up, you have to come see this.
Me: I'm tired, take a picture.
Jay: Just get up.

I grumbled and stumbled up the stairs to Hayden's room. He was fast asleep on his belly...naked from the waist down. I blinked. Yup, naked. We searched the floor, tested the bed for wet spots, nope. Finally I went into his bathroom and found the missing pants and underwear in the floor. Apparently he got up to go pee, didn't quite make it and took his pants off in the bathroom. He then went right back to bed.

At 7am, he came into my room (still naked).

Hayden: Where's my 'jamas?
Me: You took them off baby.
Hayden: No I didn't. You need to find them.
(pause)
Hayden: I COLD, mommy *shiver*

Yeah, I love this kid.

Praise all around

Hayden is doing an AWESOME job on the toilet. So much so that he spoiled me seven nights in a row, waking up in a dry bed and underwear, that I almost forgot we were still "Training" on night eight. He woke me up Sunday morning to tell me he went pee-pee in his bed, and I thought, "That's so last week, Hayden". But it's been nice not to buy pull ups!

Last night, I walked into my bedroom and saw Hayden in my bathroom on the toilet. He went in there all by himself to use the facilities, and I was pretty pumped about it. No suggesting, no wailing, no bribery, just doing what he's supposed to. When he was done, he asked me to pull up his pants for him. I obliged and he gave me the biggest hug and said,

"I SUPER proud of you momma!!"

Apparently praise is for the assistant too!

What a cutie.

Mixed metaphor

Hayden and I like to practice things while he gets his "five minutes in your bed" with mom before he goes to bed. Bath time and play time and pajamas give way to five minutes in mom's bed watching tv, then two stories, a hefty round of hugs and kisses and tucking in and finally, sleep. But during those five minutes we practice our letters and colors and numbers and whatever else he may have learned lately. For example, he told me the fork in my hand the other day was a dinglehopper. Thank you, Little Mermaid. "Alexander" is still a mouthful for him, but he can say dinglehopper? He has finally gotten to the point where he'll tell me his whole name is Hayden Alexander Rogers and he's three years old (it used to be Hayden Alexander Rogers for the name but when asked how old he was, he would reply "Name Hayden"). We also work on his address and he has it down pretty well. So the other night I decided to practice one he already had a good handle on.

Mom: Hayden, let's do our ABC's.

Hayden: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, A, Y, D, E, N. 
.........................................................................................

Seriously. And they call Americans egocentric? Weird.

Tonight we tried again and got "A, B, C, D, E, N." I suppose we'll keep trying!