Amendment One

So. North Carolina has failed where 29 other states have failed, in civil rights for same-sex marriages and domestic partnerships. They put it to a vote, and 61% of North Carolinians voted to pass the amendment, which defines marriage as one man and one woman, and is the only legal domestic partnership recognized by our state. The implications of this, besides just on same-sex marriages, have the potential to do a lot of harm to a lot of people, whether intended or not. As I cast my vote, I couldn't help but remember where I was around this time last year.

I was driving to DC. Meigh and Christina were getting married. I had never been to a lesbian wedding before, but had plenty of lesbian friends. I didn't exactly know what to expect. Would it be like all the other weddings I'd been to? Would their vows sound like mine? Would anyone object? I got my answer in Vicki Stephenson Hatch's face. Vicki was the mother of one of the brides, my friend Meigh, the Meighling, from Salem. As the music played and we all stood and turned to watch Meigh walk up the aisle, I turned to look at Vicki. The look on her face is one I have a hard time describing, because I'm sure I'd never seen anything like it before or since. I somehow saw Meigh's whole life in her mother's face. I saw the joy of looking at a newborn daughter for the first time; I saw the excitement over her first steps, her first words; I saw the pride in watching her go off to college, and then graduate. All of that rolled into an easiness, an excitement, a happiness in knowing that Meigh had absolutely found the one person she was meant to be with on this earth. There was no shred of doubt on Vicki's face, no slight longing for a husband for Meigh instead of a wife. And then I knew without a doubt, this was unlike any wedding I'd ever been to.

After the ceremony, when the reception and the mingling and the eating and the dancing were going on, I couldn't help but notice that every single person in attendance was excited for Meigh and Christina. There were no back-row bets on how long it would last, no snide remarks about flowers or decor or choices of dresses. Everyone there was enjoying themselves in a celebration of love and of their union. I can promise you, it was the most unique wedding I've ever been to.

I guess I'm disappointed that more people from my state have never been to a wedding like that. Where it didn't matter that it was two brides getting married; just that two people were in love and wanted to show the whole world by coming together as one. So many people have cited their religious beliefs over this amendment, but we must serve a different God. The God I pray to wouldn't cast aside people like Meigh and Christina because the God I pray to suggests we should love one another. That we should do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

I'm not embarrased to be from North Carolina today, or yesterday, and I won't be tomorrow. I wish more people saw love for what it was, just love. Not who loves, but how they love. My friend Margaret said something the other day that has reverberated with me every single day since I read it: When we get to the end of this life, we will find that we were worried about the wrong things and that homosexuality was one of them.