It has to be said

I started this blog to keep up with my feelings and thoughts, so I'd have something to look back on this time next year, and to keep friends and family updated. Most of my friends in the states don't have kids yet, so I also thought it would help for them to see what all this was like through the eyes of one of their most honest (even brutally so) and straightforward friends. So I'll just say it.

The concept of gaining weight is a difficult one to grasp. For the better part of ten years, it's what we've been trying to AVOID. I don't particularly have body image issues, I've never had an eating disorder, and I tend to carry around at least five extra pounds "for the winter" (year-round). But truthfully, the idea of gaining 25+ pounds is a little unnerving. That being said, I don't intend on "putting my baby on a diet" in the womb by not eating enough, because vanity is selfish. Weight can be gained and lost, and really there's no better reason to gain weight than for the specific purpose of nourishing a tiny, growing baby.

The whole "eating for two" concept has gotten radically out of hand, as far as I'm concerned. That suggests that even though my baby is currently the size of a kidney bean, I should be eating whatever I want, as much as I want "for the baby". Untrue. Granted, I do now eat at least four times a day, because pregnancy hunger is different from normal hunger. Anyone who knows me well knows what a cranky pants I can be when I'm not fed. Multiply that and intensify that, and that is hungry-pregnant-Jessica. When hunger strikes I need to eat immediately, or I feel sick. So my new philosophy has become "eat when you're hungry". Hey, it works.

The sniffles

Well it was bound to happen. Usually twice a year, once in May and once in October, I get a cold that likely develops into a sinus infection. So I shouldn't have been surprised when I started getting sniffly two days ago. Now we're at full-fledged cold and it is a bummer. I realized last night my old standby for colds, Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold, is a no-go because it contains aspirin. Even bigger bummer. So for now I'm using saline drops and Vicks, drinking fluids and trying to rest. I took a doc-approved Benadryl last night, which usually knocks me out for a solid ten hours, and even THAT didn't work.

I woke up starving, so I ate and am hoping I can keep down orange juice for an extra shot of vitamin C. Oscar is being lazily cooperative today, so I think I'll spend as much time in the bed as possible today!

11 weeks and counting!

Nothing miraculous to report these days. Changing my diet up helped considerably with the overall yuckiness. I have gained a pound, which Jay is very excited about. Still experiencing some marked fatigue and a few issues with sleep, but nothing that can't be fixed by a beautiful, busy day to wear me out and put me to bed early!

I am starting to understand the in-between-ness people talk about concerning clothes. Where your normal clothes start to get a little tight, and you don't want to buy bigger clothes because soon, you'll actually need maternity clothes. It's amazing that even though I haven't gained much weight (I'm still at -2 since I lost 3 pounds early on), things seem to just be shifting around.

Oscar continues to be very protective. He barks at strangers, which he used to do only if they had on hats (what a weird dog) or were walking dogs. Now he even barks at women, which he's never done. He still doesn't see kids as a threat, so that's good.

Now we're just counting down the days until Jay comes home! He should be home right around my five-month mark, which puts him here just in time to find out the sex. Exciting!

You can take the girl out of the south...

There's a lot of advice out there. A million books, websites, weekly emails. Everyone around me has had kids. Anywhere I turn, I can get words of wisdom, suggestions and anecdotes.

But I'm learning that the best advice comes from listening to my own body. I know I need to eat, I know I need to eat things that are good for me, but sometimes my body is just not interested in whole grains and baby spinach. So tonight I gave into the guilt for a dose of home, with oven-fried chicken and mashed potatoes. And for the first time in several days, I had a full meal! Looks like it's back to my roots (and the butter) for awhile. Thank God for Paula Deen...

It was bound to happen sometime

In the span of 48 hours, I've experienced cravings, aversions, morning sickness (in the evening and afternoon) and fatigue. Talk about a cocktail!

We had planned fajitas and 'ritas (no alcohol for me!) for cinco de Mayo, and Dandy our grillmaster cooked up a storm. Unfortunately, nothing at all seemed appetizing to me. I tasted my key lime pie this morning while making it, and immediately felt queasy. Oscar has one kind of treat that makes me want to throw up. It's amazing how quickly things can turn around! Today I started craving comfort foods, like chicken pot pie and macaroni. Still very thirsty, and drinking lots of water. I made the margaritas for my friends tonight and the smell of the alcohol was definitely overwhelming. Seems as though the body is pretty smart, turning you off of stuff you're not supposed to have!

It's almost 11pm and I'm finally eating for the first time since breakfast. I'm DEFINITELY not the kind of girl to miss a meal, so let's hope this passes quickly!

Another appointment!

I had my almost-10-week appointment today! I had to wait a long time, thanks to someone who came in 45 minutes late, and someone else who didn't have an appointment at all. Then again, life in the army is "hurry up and wait", so I'm pretty used to it.

No blood this time! Just a finger prick and pee-in-a-cup. All my test results from last time came back fine, and this time the sonogram showed what is starting to look like a baby! I saw a tiny, fluttery heartbeat and little legs! Our baby is approximately 3 cm long, and really DOES look like a kidney bean!

Which means I called my brother, my parents and Sam to give them the good news. Apparently "we're having a baby" or "you're going to be an uncle" aren't specific enough, as my dad and brother both asked, "Who?" It's exciting to finally be able to share it though!

Mood swings...not just for PMS anymore!

Due to the ridiculous amount of hormones coursing through my body, I have started to feel the mood swings. Luckily, they're (currently) not directed at anyone, just sort of up and down. Good mood, bad mood, irritability. I don't think my current sleeping habits are helping either. What used to be middle-of-the-afternoon fatigue has turned into an all day affair. I go to bed late because I can't sleep, then wake up late. Or, if I wake up early, I'm back in bed after a shower because I'm completely exhausted. I guess building a tiny little life is hard work on my body!

Our baby is almost an inch long at 9 weeks, and its "tail" is gone. Thank goodness! Tomorrow is my second OB appointment, so I'm pretty excited. Hopefully that means good news, more pictures, and a phone call from Jay to check on us. The weeks seem longer when I don't talk to him these days. We're almost at the one-year mark, so three months to go!

Consumer reports, baby name book, What to Expect..., there's a lot of reading involved for having a baby! But it's a nice change of pace.

Nausea also seems to be the name of the game in the past week. I've only actually gotten sick twice so far, my body is pretty picky about what I put in it though. Seems like nothing actually settles like it's supposed to! They say it eases up after the first trimester, so come on week 13!