Chop chop

My dad was impatient at best. He was punctual to a T. My mom was always 15 minutes late so my dad was forever rushing us along. I didn't inherit his punctuality despite him always telling me, "you are not important enough for people to have to wait for you." He meant no harm in this statement; it wasn't a blow to my ego. What he meant was that my time was no more valuable than the person who was waiting for me and I should respect that. 

Tonight I was rushing Hayden along in his lolly gag bedtime routine and he said, "Do you mean chop chop?" I asked where he heard it and he said a teacher. He was instantly worried that he was in trouble. I assured him he wasn't, but that phrase is one I heard my whole life, usually followed by "the bus is leaving!" So it took me by surprise. Since my dad loved the time he spent with Hayden, I'm sure he never uttered those words to him. He never rushed the time he had with my little dude. 

Chop chop dad; bus is leavin. 

Tooth fairy

Hayden lost a tooth last month. Bottom left front to be exact. He went to bed very excited about the idea of the tooth fairy. When he woke up he found $5 under his pillow. I put it in front of his bank so he could see it. The next day, his money wasn't there.

Me: Hayden where is your tooth fairy money?

H: I had to hide it. 

Me: from who?

H: From the leprechauns when they come for Packricks Day. 

Me: You know St. Patricks day is a long time away dude. And the leprechauns don't like dollars; they like gold. That's why the tooth fairy doesn't leave gold. 

(Pause)

H: They don't want my dollars?

Me: Nope. 

H: Okay. We should go find them then. 

Live like you were dying

Oh Tim McGraw. Kryptonite. Before, it was "If you're reading this", about a soldier who had been killed in action. Today I heard "Live like you were dying" and it unraveled me a bit. My dad didn't go skydiving or climb and mountains; he certainly didn't ride any bulls. But I think he delayed his trip to the hospital because he knew he wouldn't be coming out. So he loved us like he was dying. 

Catch up

We are down to five puppies in the house, three of whom need homes. We drove to VA, NJ, and Chapel Hill and has people come from Wilmington, High Point and Salisbury to get them. It's hard to see them go but I know they're going to good homes. 

My dad passed away on Friday. We kind of knew on Wednesday so I started letting him go then. It's going to be hard for a long time but for now, the tears have subsided. 

Lila has more teeth. Her incisors are coming in and that makes her cranky. Plus she's nearing two, so everything is "mine" and "no way" is her response of choice. 

Hayden is doing well in pre-k and is getting good at writing his name. He's really good at counting and writing his numbers. He's been on field trips to the library, the fair and the fire station. This week I get to take him on a field trip to a pumpkin patch. 

We are keeping one puppy. His name is Hero and he's beautiful. His paws are huge and that's an indicator of how big he will be. Yikes. 

Work is busy and good. I love being back at Salem and working with students. I'm so glad everything worked out the way it did. 

I'm likely to post more often so I don't fill up my newsfeed with memories of my dad. It's good to remember but I don't feel like Facebook is the place to bring people down. Here, people have the choice to read. 

Gravy

Today I made sausage gravy for breakfast. It's not my specialty or my favorite but it's what I wanted today. I flashed back to the first time I tried to make chip beef gravy in Germany. It was okay but not like my dad's. I called and asked what I did wrong. Skim milk?! My dad couldn't believe it. How could you even make gravy with skim milk, he asked. No wonder, he said.  

Today I used 1%. Even if I used whole milk, it wouldn't be like his. 

Realize

Me: Hayden, out of the tub dude. 

H: mom, do you even realize I'm getting out?

Pause

H: What does realize mean mom?

Sadness

So much sadness in the world today. In my world. A Salem sister laid her four year old son to rest. I cannot fathom that pain, that loss, that hole in her heart. I ache for her and her family. 

Another Salem sister had to put down her beloved dog down today. A member of her family before her baby was born. How do you let go of a faithful, loving and furry companion? The ones that are there for us when we least deserve it. 

One of my Army wives is sending her husband to Egypt this weekend. Over half the news tonight was on the conflict in Egypt. Nine months he'll be gone to help keep peace in a nation that that knows nothing of peace. 

Life isn't fair. I have much to be grateful for but today, I am sad.