A tough lesson

While we were at the fair last weekend, Hayden was DYING to play the game to win a fish. So we obliged, paying $5 for  bucket of ping pong balls that he threw aimlessly at glass bowls filled with dirty, colored water. About halfway through the bucket, he hit a bowl! Which means he won a fish. We are not huge fans of fish-as-pets, but we couldn't deny him his prize!

Immediately, he set out to pick a name. "Hayden", "Mommy" and "Ironman" were ruled out before settling on Nemo. Within five minutes, he had asked, "Can Nemo ride the roller coaster with me?", "Can Nemo take a bath with me?", "Do we eat Nemo since he is a fish?" We reminded him to be careful carrying the bag with the fish, since he insisted upon carrying it himself.

He fell asleep on the way home so we took him up to bed for a nap. While he was sleeping, we transferred the fish to a bowl. Well. We tried. And by we, I mean I made a HUGE mistake and Jay came to the rescue (as usual). He told me to poke a hole in the bag to let the water drain, then then put the fish in the bowl. Well. I cut a hole in the bottom, and the fish promptly fell in the sink. And then down the garbage disposal. I yelled for Jay to come in there, who MacGyvered two spoons to rescue Nemo from the bowels of our drain. Gross. We put the little guy in his bowl, and my blood pressure slowly went down.

An hour later, I came into the kitchen only to find poor Nemo floating atop the bowl. Clearly the events of the day had traumatized him to the point of death. It was 8:45 and I couldn't bear the thought of Hayden waking up to a dead fish. I threw on some shoes and flew out the door to get to Petsmart before they closed at 9.

I picked up a more suitable fish bowl (than my short, round vase), some rocks, some food and asked the lady for a fish. At this point, I would like to point out that NO ONE mentioned adding water conditioner to combat the chlorine in tap water, which I later learned might be helpful in keeping fish alive. This is why I have dogs. I paid for Nemo #2 and got home to get him settled in his new bowl. After he was comfortably swimming, I went upstairs to bed.

Hayden woke up around 10:30 wanting a snack so we went downstairs for some cereal and a little Batman. Hayden suddenly remembered Nemo, and asked, "Where's my fish?" I told him in the kitchen, and he went in to see him. He came back in the living room and said, "Mommy, my fish has died." I couldn't believe it! He barely lived an hour!! Then he broke my heart with a quivering lip, asking, "Is it because I dropped him in his bag?" and burst into tears. I assured him this was not his fault, and we talked about fish heaven. He seemed to be okay with it, and went to sleep.

The next morning, he came downstairs and said, "My fish is still dead. I think he just needs more food". I explained fish heaven again, at which point he wanted to know how many fish were in fish heaven with him. I told him it was probably a whole lot, and that Nemo was happy. A minute later, he called me into the dining room. He was laying on his side with his eyes wide open and said, "Look! I look like my fish." I took his humor as a sign that he had progressed to the acceptance stage of grief (and proof that he's my child). We gave Nemo a proper burial in the toilet, because "all drains lead to the ocean like in Finding Nemo".

So Nemo died (twice) and Hayden doesn't seem to be too upset about it. We might get him a betta fish, or we might just stick with the two dogs that we can pet, love on, give treats to and toss the ball for. A tough lesson for a three year old, indeed.