Big girl

Recently Lila started climbing out of her crib. Naturally we decided a big girl bed was in order. This was a big step for her and for me. Not my baby anymore? I'm not ready! 

But she was. She watched in wonder as we dismantled the crib and put together this new big girl bed for her. She arranged her babies and animals a dozen times the first night. She lay there, excited and got up about three times the first night before finally settling in. 

Now? She's put herself to bed for a nap by herself since day two and for bedtime with a quick kiss and "ni-night momma". It's hard. Watching her independent spirit unfold before my very eyes is both wonderful and heartbreaking. But through my foggy, sleep deprived memories of Hayden's transition to a big boy bed, I am thankful for one easy sleeper! 

5 months old!

Where does the time go? Suddenly our baby girl is five months old, full of laughter and smiles, and ready to be on the move! She is trying so hard to sit up by herself, and wants to be mobile so badly. She can roll and is starting to scoot on her belly, meanwhile we just want her to slow down!

Her napping skills have come a long way, but we're back to a middle of the night wake up to eat. But that usually turns out to be the best part of my day. After she nurses and fills her belly up, I sit her up to let everything go south and she lays her head on my chest. I rub her back for a minute until I feel her fall asleep. And then I hold her for just a few minutes longer than I have to, enjoying this precious little gift. I lay her back in the crib and she throws both arms above her head, ready for the "good sleep".

Jinx be damned, I'm going to tell the world!

That's right. I don't care that it's only been a little while, I'm going to talk about it. That it's so recent a development that releasing it to the world may very well be asking for terrible karma to ruin it.

Hayden is back to sleeping through the night. In his bed. All alone, except for when Oscar decides to sleep on the accompanying loveseat. He walks into his room when he's supposed to go to bed, no muss-no fuss. He gets into his bed, where we have a debate for about 10 seconds regarding the current whereabouts of his blanket, as well as where he'd LIKE his blanket to be. I make sure he has his pup-pup, kiss him, promise him to leave the door open so he doesn't get scared, and I walk away. I WALK AWAY.

This may seem a trivial accomplishment to some. To those, I say you don't have children OR you don't have a child that, at the tender age of two, has survived one deployment, several bouts of senseless vomiting, one move across the world followed by 2 months of traveling and one more move into your very own Toy Story-themed room. If you think adults have trouble adjusting to separating from the Army, finding jobs, starting school and moving twice...try being the child in the middle of all that. Which is why I do not fault Hayden a single SECOND that he's been awake instead of asleep.

We have progressed and it has not been easy. As a newborn, Hayden flat refused to sleep and I just did not get it. I did everything imaginiable and he just wouldn't do it. Except sometimes during the day. So with due diligence and an unreasonable amount of caffeine, I got him in a schedule. And at six months that schedule was three two-hour naps a day and sleeping through the night for 11-12 hours. This went on virtually every day for six months, until we dropped one nap. At one year old, Hayden was taking two two-hour naps a day and sleeping 12 hours through the night. This went on for some time, and changed when I started working of course. He got a two-hour nap at school, sometimes a quick hour when we got home from work and school, and then still about 10 hours straight through the night.

I'm not sure when it happened or why, but I believe it was in the fall of 2010 that Hayden started waking up in the middle of the night again. Changing seasons, growing pains, packing our house...whatever it was, Hayden would go down at 8, wake up at 10 and refuse to go to sleep until 12. Or he would go down at 8, wake up at 2am and stay up one to two hours. This makes for tired moms and dads. By the time we left Germany we were just getting through the days the best we knew how.

We expected transition issues when we moved. Hayden slept 30 minutes of a 9-hour flight, which turned out to be most helpful in keeping him on a normal, east coast sleeping schedule. The first 4 days we were in North Carolina he took a two-hour nap and slept mostly through the night. We patted ourselves on the back. Then we went to Virginia to visit family. Hayden's WHOLE life he has slept in pitch black darkness. No nightlight. No cracked door. Not a sliver of light coming in. This of course is not available everywhere one travels. So began the mom-and-dad-laying-down-to-put-him-to-sleep. Which is something we've never done and had no intentions of doing so, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Once we were settled in at Gloria's, we had to lay in the twin bed with him to get him to sleep. Sometimes he moved to the crib, sometimes stayed in the twin bed. The crib which of course, had to be turned into a toddler bed because he could climb out of it. In addition, we took away the pacifier two months before we moved from Germany. A necessary evil, but what I wouldn't give some nights for him to have that to help him get to sleep! We have to grow up sometime though, all of us. If he slept in the twin bed he'd often roll out of it, so I usually ended up going to bed with Hayden at 830pm and staying there, or making my way back in there when he inevitably woke up in the wee hours of the morning.

In February, we moved to our apartment and set up Hayden's room first thing. This began our "new" process.  Of starting over. We would put him to bed, but have to lay down in the floor and talk him into bedtime. After a week or two of that, I graduated from the floor to the loveseat, but often spent most of the night in there because I'd fall asleep in that warm, dark sanctuary for sleep we created. After nights of this, I moved to the outside his open door. Creepy, yes, but at least I got to watch tv and not go to sleep at a child's bedtime in a dirty house.

At some point two weeks ago, we said it was bedtime and he just marched into his room. A few requests for juice or potty, locating pup-pup and figuring out the blanket, but he was asleep in NO time. Actual minutes in single digits. Of course, I thought this to be a fluke and claimed no victory over my two-year-old sleep terrorist. But when it happened three nights in a row, I started to think this could be for real. And last week I realized...wait. I haven't gotten up in the middle of the night IN DAYS. It's been over two weeks, and he's going to bed, staying there and I don't have to go to bed at 8pm. Excited? Understatement. Accomplished? Beyond belief.

It was bound to happen

I have been thinking about this moment for approximately five months. I thought about how I'd tell people, how long it would take, how I would feel when it happened. Since I live in Europe, I thought about shouting it from the top of the Alps, but that somehow seems insufficient.

Last night, Hayden slept for SEVEN hours. It wasn't "through the night" but it was a far cry from "up every two hours". I put him down around 8:30 last night and I went to bed around 10:30. I fully expected him to wake up at 11:30 to eat. So imagine my surprise when I woke up after 3 this morning and realized he hadn't woken up yet. I checked on him to make sure he was still breathing, and went back to bed. He woke up a little later for a feeding, and went right back to sleep as usual. He woke up around 7, his normal wake-up time and is already back down for his morning nap. The time between naps gets progressively longer all day, but he's still a good day-sleeper.

Maybe it was because of our fun day yesterday! Hayden and I went to a BBQ at our friend Nina's house for Hayden's first outdoor adventure. Armed with sunscreen, shorts and his Carolina hat and blanket, Hayden had a blast! He loved the sunshine, even though it was a little bright. He played with other kids, rolled around on his blanket, even napped in his stroller for a bit. We stayed outside for a good few hours and I think Hayden is going to be hard to keep inside once he's mobile. Which is great because we have lots of fun plans for the spring and summer!

Today we're doing laundry, cleaning, taking Oscar to the farm and PACKING. Our big trip is just a couple of days away and there is still much to be done. We can't wait!

One of these days, I'm going to sit down at the computer and write, "Well we haven't updated because nothing has been going on." That will not be today!

We survived all the field time, and Hayden was probably as excited as I was to see Jay when he came home. Hayden knows who daddy is, and recognizes him easily when he walks in the door. He is developing so much personality, we don't know what do with all of it! He has started sleeping longer at night, 3-4 hours at a time which is a welcome relief from two hours! He is also outgrowing the swaddling and only likes it to put him to sleep. When he wakes up for feedings, I unwrap him and he happily goes back to sleep with his puppy, all stretched out in his crib. He is also starting to go a little longer during daytime feedings, which means we can get more done.

He can't sit up on his own yet, but is good at holding his head up so we've tried out his exersaucer here and there. He loves the toy that spins and makes noise, and recently discovered the mirror. His jumperoo is on the way to us, so we're going to break down some of his other toys that he doesn't use as much. Our house is overrun with baby entertainment items, so we have to downsize a little!

This weekend Hayden was very cooperative for our painting project and road trip to Ramstein. We painted the kitchen and dining room yellow, and have a good teamwork system down so it went pretty quickly. We have a few more rooms to do, but we were painted out by the end of the weekend so those will have to wait for this coming weekend. We went to Ramstein AFB on Saturday and bought Jay new golf clubs. And, of course, ate at Chili's! To our surprise Sugarland was playing that night as part of their USO tour, which means it was pretty busy on post. We didn't go to the concert but are hoping they make their way a little closer to us. Jay and I saw them in 2007 with Kenny Chesney and they put on a great show.

Hayden went to the doctor on Monday for his four-month check up. He is 14.5 lbs and 25 inches long! The doctor said everything is going well, and is impressed that he can roll over already. In Germany, they skip the rice cereal route and just start babies on vegetables at about five months. Since there isn't much nutritional value to rice cereal, we're going to keep chugging along with the nursing and worry about vegetables in about a month. Part of our deciding factor was that Hayden and I have booked our tickets to come home in April! We'll be home April 13-27 and hope to see as many friends and family as possible. I have my Salem Reunion April 17-19 and am going to Virginia to see Jay's family the other weekend, so let us know if you want to see us and we'll work you in! We figured trying to throw in "solid foods" with all that was a bit much for our little buddy. Originally we were going to try to fly home Space Available through the military but in the end, decided that commercial tickets would be a lot less stressful for mommy! Hayden has his own seat so I don't have to hold him for nine and a half hours. It's a direct flight to Charlotte, so no changing planes for us! We can't wait.

We tried to get his four-month shots but were five days early based on the last time we got his shots, so we have to wait until next Monday. Bummer, since Jay won't be with us like he was for the doctor appointment. But we did it on our own last time, so I'm sure we'll be fine this time.

Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, and Hayden's first visit to the Child Development Center (CDC) on post for daycare. I had a doctor's appointment, so Hayden spent two and a half hours in the care of some very nice ladies. He was the youngest in the "small hourly care" room, as it is from 6 weeks to 2 years. Most of the kids were closer to two years old, so Hayden looked small. Neither of us cried, I'm happy to report :-) I got back about fifteen minutes early to pick him up, and they were out on a walk. Six kids in two triple strollers, with Hayden sleeping soundly in the "backseat" of the stroller...those ladies are brave! But he did well, and that makes me feel better about taking him next week for my dentist appointment!

We had a fundraiser yesterday that Hayden and I had signed up to help at, so we headed to where Jay works for lunch. We sold hot dogs, chips, drinks and green baked goods to tons of soldiers and spouses. Hayden got to hang out with his Aunt Megan, and got to see daddy at work for a little while. It was chilly out, which means no one got to see his St. Patrick's Day onesie under his coat! Rest assured no one pinched him.

Today we're hoping to get lunch and do some scrapbooking with Jenn and Addie. The sun is out for the second day in a row, and spring is hopefully just around the corner.

Baby Houdini

Hayden is getting stronger by the day, particularly with his legs. We discovered just HOW strong yesterday. I put him in his crib when he was a little cranky, because he didn't want to go to sleep. He was overtired, rubbing his little eyes and yawning. I laid him in the same spot I always do, gave him his bink and his puppy and closed the door. Usually after about 15 minutes he has worn himself out a little and we pick him up and he falls asleep almost instantly. When I went in to pick him up, I saw he had moved himself around a bit. Instead of being parallel to the long side of the crib, he had turned himself a whole 90 degrees so his head was against the drop side of the crib. Thank goodness for crib bumpers!

He's getting so much better at sleeping, finally! He's sleeping a little longer at night, and is starting to go longer between daytime feedings. Yesterday he played on his quilt so hard that he just put himself to sleep on it, which never happens. He's getting more consistent with daytime naps and goes down without a fuss most times. Hooray for progress!

Hayden had a playdate with his friend Addie, who is five months old and lots of fun! She can do things that Hayden can't, but they have a good time with his toys and playing on his quilt. Oscar likes Addie too, and she doesn't mind him licking her face and hands. We're hoping they like to play together so their mommies can scrapbook!

Well we had a busy week while Jay was gone, so not much time to write to our public! We had lots of projects around the house, errands to run on post, and my biggest hurdle was getting Hayden out of our bed and into his crib at night! I love to snuggle with my little buddy, but he and Jay are both bed hogs so it was not conducive to good sleep for mommy. Hayden is also a very loud sleeper, making all kinds of baby noises and gassiness that are also not conducive to good sleep, but for Jay. I don't notice them much but they kept Jay awake. In the beginning we put him in our bed because we all seemed to get more sleep that way. But lately it looked like we were all getting LESS sleep, so I started working on it when Jay left. Unfortunately, the cold that creeped up on me early last week slowed us down a little.

But I'm happy to report that last night, Hayden slept in his crib the whole night! He still wakes up to eat normally every 2-3 hours, but this week I think he's going through a growth spurt because he's eating much more often. So last night he woke up about every two hours to eat, but every time went right back to sleep in his crib with no three-ring circus. Victory! Daytime naps in the crib were no problem but night was tricky. We are definitely making progress!

Jay got back on Saturday morning after a week-long certification a few hours away. Hayden was a little confused, because he's used to only hearing my voice and so Jay's loud man-voice was a little scary for him at first. But he's back to being smitten with daddy, so all's well that ends well. I got Jay's new work car all registered Thursday, and today it's at the car place getting new tires. He's excited to have a car that he can toss his stuff in and I'm excited to have my car back!

Hayden is getting bigger and more alert every day! He's holding his head up and getting better at putting himself to sleep, and is very "talkative" with his baby babble. It's amazing to me how much he's grown and changed in 12 weeks. I'm a little nervous about his first flight this Friday, but excited as well. It's a short flight to Madrid, but just enough to give us a taste of what it will be like to fly overseas this spring. Oscar spent a few days at the farm and will be going back on Thursday. He is still exhausted after being there from Thursday to Sunday.

Hayden is starting to pay more attention to the television, so we're going to start getting baby DVDs to stimulate his little baby neurons. In a few weeks I hope to start some of the sleep training I've read about, once we're solid in crib-sleeping and once he isn't eating so often. Wish us luck!

2-month check up

This morning was Hayden's 2-month check-up. He woke up early, around 7 and wasn't quite ready to go back to sleep so we headed downstairs. We watched a little Sports Center, and I realized little man needed a diaper change. I picked him up and found that he had leaked out a bit, so I took off his onesie and changed his diaper. I put him in his bouncy seat in his diaper and socks so I could wash my hands. By the time I came back, he was fast asleep! Silly boy.

We went to his doctor's office, which is in the hospital where he was born, just around the other side. We checked in and headed to the VERY full waiting room. There were about 12 kids in there, so Jay headed outside and around the corner to get a doner (our favorite downtown snack, sort of like a gyro). We waited about a half hour before they called us in. Hayden is up to 12 lbs 8 oz, 22 inches long and had a normal temperature. She poked and prodded, squeezed and examined, and he's good to go! He's holding his head up well and his reflexes are all appropriate for his age. They are definitely matter-of-fact here in Germany, which is maybe why Europeans don't seem to have the same sense of entitlements and whatnot that Americans do. They didn't tell me his percentiles, which they do at the clinic, but everyone wants to brag about numbers it seems in the states. As for Hayden, he's healthy and normal, and that's all we need to know! He doesn't seem to mind the rectal thermometer but throws a fit when you look in his ears. I could have told her that, we fight when I clean his little outer ears after a bath. Picky boy.

Next up, shots! No one is excited about them. I did decide for his next check up I want to take him in a bubble. So many germy little kids! For the most part the kids looked pretty healthy, but they were all over the floor and playing in toys, hands in mouths and whatnot. And there was one kid who kept scratching his head pretty furiously so I was certain he had lice. But Hayden seemed to come through just fine, in fact, he slept through the loud wait and didn't wake up until I took him out of his car seat to be examined.

We're still working on the sleep thing, but he did sleep about five hours the other night without waking up to be fed. For a baby that wakes up every two to three hours to eat, this was a welcome surprise! He seems to be going a little longer between feedings now, but still growing so I think we're getting the hang of it.

I've discovered the best part of my day. It's after Hayden's morning nap, right before lunch. He is usually downstairs sleeping in his playpen or his bouncy seat, and I hear him start to make baby noises. I pick him up before he gets fussy, and he's awake but not quite awake, so he's not hungry yet. He nuzzles his sweet baby head into my neck and sucks on his little hands that are all balled up into fists, and just hangs out there for a few minutes. He's content for a little while, and then pops his little head up with his eyes wide, like he's ready for the day. Sometimes he smiles, sometimes he bobs his little head around, but he's just so sweet.

Jay is back at work so life is getting back to normal. We've had an abnormal few months, so it's nice to get a little structure. Hayden's internal alarm clock is apparently set for Jay's PT schedule, so it's nice that Jay actually has to get up now. Sleeping is getting better and better; Hayden slept for three hours last night before waking up to eat! Right now the house is quiet except for the sound of Hayden's swing and Oscar's snoring. The dishes are done, laundry is in, the floor is vacuumed and our house looks less like a hurricane came through it. There's still 5 inches of snow on the ground, and the high for the weekend is a chilly 25. Looks like a weekend of renting movies and board games!

Sleep and baby hair

First of all, the hair. Hayden's hair is our absolute favorite. The answer is no, we can't make it lay down. We wash, we dry, we brush, we part...and in an hour it pops right back up. And it's terribly cute.

Sleep. Ah yes, sleep. We're getting there! We discovered that part of our problem with sleep was that we were being too reactive and not proactive enough. So I've started paying better attention. When Hayden first shows signs of being sleepy, I swaddle and cuddle and put him down. Yesterday he went down for two naps without a fight! I also realized some of the stuff we've been doing to calm him has actually been re-stimulating him, which doubles the amount of time it takes to get him to sleep. I'm reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and love it. But he's a little young yet for sleep training. So basically right now we're still letting him set his own schedule, within reason. He has learned to sleep at night, and goes down for 2-4 hour stretches from 9 to 5. He wakes up usually at 5 and wants to be awake for an hour or two, and goes back to sleep. This morning he woke up at 5 to eat and went right back to sleep. So it's not a real schedule, but it's at least manageable!

He's also started smiling and cooing more, and it's terribly adorable. He has such a fun personality already, I can't wait to watch him grow and grow!

Four weeks and counting!

Well life has been busy, but we're all hanging in there! We've survived Hayden's first (mini) illness and all came out virtually unscathed. He had a little cough and a bit of a runny nose, but I think we're all better now. As a result of his cough, I am now in love with and forever indebted to his adorable frog humidifier.

Nights have been in a word, challenging. Hayden would sleep for about two or three hours after dinner, and 10 or 11 pm is when his night really started. Unfortunately for me, nights wouldn't end until around 4 or 5 am, so I was exhausted. My trial and error process never seemed to produce the desired effect (sleep) for very long, so we've been a tired house! I had a pretty strong moment of clarity about a week or so ago, realizing that Hayden is in general probably pretty stressed out about his life. For nine months, he was in this cozy little haven, eating and sleeping anytime he wanted, with perfect temperature control and no dirty diapers or spit-up to deal with. So being out has probably been a giant culture shock for him. I realized his absolute helplessness was making him cry whenever he needed something, and that he is completely dependent upon us to fix whatever is making him cry. So while it may be stressful for me, nights are probably torture for him.

The problem with nights was that I literally had to be "on" and active for four hours in the wee hours of the morning. Feeding, burping, changing, rocking, bouncing, swaying, dancing, singing...trying to figure out what he needed to be calm and to sleep. Of course, Jay turned the lightbulb on for me yesterday when he gave Hayden his pacifier. I've been pretty resistant to the pacifier, until I discovered my baby is a "super sucker", meaning the sucking reflex is probably what calms him the most. I had tried a few times to give him the pacifier and he resisted, so I gave up pretty easily. Yesterday I watched Jay hold it in his mouth for about 10-15 seconds until he stopped crying and immediately started sucking on it. I realized I just needed a little more perseverance. Sure enough, a few more seconds of waiting and he LOVES this tiny piece of BPA-free plastic and silicone!

The big test came tonight after he went "down for the night", which is a joke for a four-week-old breastfed baby. Two hours later, he woke up and I fed him. After the burp, I reached for the pacifier, and the skies opened up. Back to sleep at 1am with little effort! He still has a little trouble deciding what's night and what's day, but the quiet at 3am (with a little help from his bouncy seat, our lifesaver right now) is priceless. I imagine there are about a million more hurdles to sleep in our future, but for now I will take this victory! I'm starting a new book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, that many of my fellow moms swear by.

Jay and I spent the day cleaning and once we tackle a few small tasks tomorrow, we'll be back on track with a presentable house. Life seems much easier when I can walk in a clear path in my living room, and when I'm not tripping over shoes in the bedrooms. Things are looking up, and we're finding that we can do this parenting thing!

Sleep!

Throughout this pregnancy, I've discovered sleep to be a most precious commodity. During my first trimester, I slept ALL the time. Went to bed early, napped often during the day and early evening, sometimes Oscar even let me sleep in!


Lately, there has been no good sleep for me. Jay and I have decided we definitely need a new mattress, because ours is sort of sinking in the middle which causes us to roll towards it. Besides that, I've had to get used to sleeping with a pillow between my knees to take some of the pressure off of my back. It's hard to roll over with that, and I switch sides pretty often while I sleep. Finally, I wake up about every 2-3 hours to pee. That's something that's been hard to get used to. But three more months, and it will all be worth it!

Tonight I'm up late and can't sleep (again) but I'm hoping getting back to our normal routine will help with that. We'll see!

Sleep is vital

I've discovered so far that while I'm not experiencing total exhaustion, I do feel fatigue faster. Diet, exercise and a decent night's sleep help, but I can't seem to get the latter. Lately I just stay up later than I want, and then wake up earlier than I need. So if I go back to sleep, it's this pieced-together eight hours. I'd really like to be in bed before 11pm and up at a decent hour, maybe 8am. But between Oscar's tummy and Jay actually getting to call me, that hasn't worked out lately. There's always hope for tomorrow!